The Cusp of Change

The first few weeks of summer have been a whirlwind of events. I went to Scotland, I am preparing for Royal Family Kids Camp (see my posts about them here and here), the MCAT, my study abroad experience for this fall, and to top it off I’m trying to squeeze in some work and volunteering. I just realized that my early 20’s will be flooded with change, more than I’ve ever experienced. As a person who is comfortable with consistency and routine, all of these upcoming life events are completely overwhelming to me. I think God is using this point in my life to challenge me: Am I going to rely on self-sufficiency or trust in God?

While my inner self feels a need to exert my independence and take control of this period of change, I know that I need to work through this cognitive dissonance and rely on God to lead me through this season. At this point in my life, I don’t really view God as this all-controlling being. I think God allows us to use our free will to make decisions about our lives. However, when making these decisions especially in these new situations, I don’t want to ignore God—I hope that I can recognize God walking through life with me. It’s so easy for me to outline my future: I want to study abroad, finish school, go to medical school, establish a career, have a family, etc. Now that I am on the brink of so much change—change that could drastically alter my path in life for the next few years— I need to take a step back and be honest with myself. Am I doing this for myself or for God’s glory?

I have been thinking about these upcoming life events, and I do believe that this plan is what God is calling me to do. I think, more importantly, I need focus on integrating daily prayer into my life. I want to be intentional with these changes in my life and ask key questions for each new situation. Who do you want me to meet, God? What am I supposed to gain from this change? How are my experiences going to help me make Earth more like Heaven?

I can’t be swept away by the idea of change in the future. It all is so uncertain, and no matter how these changes affect my future, I want to make sure that I am living my life for God first and foremost. I trust that God can use my passions and strengths to do good. On this cusp of change, I hope that I can rely less on myself and instead trust that God is leading through these new periods of my life.


Lots of love,



From Observing Patients to Feeling Like a Patient


For a long time, I have been trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I have almost always been drawn to a career in the medical field– as a doctor, PA, or something else entirely. Being the determined individual that I am, I’m currently leaning towards a career as a doctor. I don’t know what type of specialty I want to pursue, but being an OBGYN sounds interesting for various reasons. One, OBGYNs get to deliver babies. How cool would it be to bring life into the world?!?! Also, women’s health is really interesting to me. Most people squirm in disgust with anything related to women’s health issues, but I think every women deserves to be educated about their health. Yesterday, I got the opportunity to shadow an amazing OBGYN near me, and through this experience, I was able to see what a day in the life of a doctor is like.

Yesterday, the doctor that I shadowed only had office appointments– no babies were born sadly. However, I did get to see pap smears, pelvic exams, pregnancy check ups, and more. I even got to use the doppler monitor to hear babies’ heartbeats. That was by far my favorite part of the day. It makes me so happy knowing that these babies are growing and developing healthily inside of their mothers. I wish I could have seen a baby being born, but hearing them in the womb was pretty great!

My OBGYN is also such a sweet person. I got to hear her medical journey– her stories of med school, residency, etc. She also gave me insight as to what it is like to be a women in medicine. She is such a role model because not only is she a successful doctor, but she is also a wife and mother of three children. I admire the way she puts family first in her life. If I decide to become a doctor, I hope that I can embody her attitude and values.

However, one event in particular made this day quite unique. I was in a room meeting a patient, and out of the blue I started feeling woozy. I immediately tried to leave the room, but the next thing I knew, I was on the ground in the hallway. Yup, I fainted. I have never fainted before, but I guess that if I’m going to faint somewhere, it might as well be in the doctor’s office. The nurses were so sweet. They got me ice packs and let me lie down on one of the patient tables. Even though, I came to observe patients, I practically became a patient myself. I quickly recovered, though. I think I just needed more food. The whole experience was hilarious looking back on it. This little setback didn’t stop me from having an amazing day observing a wonderful doctor. Here are main things that I learned today…

  1. Eat lots of food or else you might make a fool of yourself and end up on the floor in the doctor’s office.
  2. You can be a female doctor and still have a family. It takes a lot of work, but you can make it happen.
  3. I can really envision myself as a doctor. I like the challenge and dedication involved with the job. Plus, I don’t mind all the school– med school, I’m ready for you 😉

I’m so excited to see what the future holds for me. I’m so thankful for the unique opportunities that God has blessed me with. I can’t wait to see the plan that he has in store for me!


Lots of love,