The first few weeks of summer have been a whirlwind of events. I went to Scotland, I am preparing for Royal Family Kids Camp (see my posts about them here and here), the MCAT, my study abroad experience for this fall, and to top it off I’m trying to squeeze in some work and volunteering. I just realized that my early 20’s will be flooded with change, more than I’ve ever experienced. As a person who is comfortable with consistency and routine, all of these upcoming life events are completely overwhelming to me. I think God is using this point in my life to challenge me: Am I going to rely on self-sufficiency or trust in God?
While my inner self feels a need to exert my independence and take control of this period of change, I know that I need to work through this cognitive dissonance and rely on God to lead me through this season. At this point in my life, I don’t really view God as this all-controlling being. I think God allows us to use our free will to make decisions about our lives. However, when making these decisions especially in these new situations, I don’t want to ignore God—I hope that I can recognize God walking through life with me. It’s so easy for me to outline my future: I want to study abroad, finish school, go to medical school, establish a career, have a family, etc. Now that I am on the brink of so much change—change that could drastically alter my path in life for the next few years— I need to take a step back and be honest with myself. Am I doing this for myself or for God’s glory?
I have been thinking about these upcoming life events, and I do believe that this plan is what God is calling me to do. I think, more importantly, I need focus on integrating daily prayer into my life. I want to be intentional with these changes in my life and ask key questions for each new situation. Who do you want me to meet, God? What am I supposed to gain from this change? How are my experiences going to help me make Earth more like Heaven?
I can’t be swept away by the idea of change in the future. It all is so uncertain, and no matter how these changes affect my future, I want to make sure that I am living my life for God first and foremost. I trust that God can use my passions and strengths to do good. On this cusp of change, I hope that I can rely less on myself and instead trust that God is leading through these new periods of my life.
Lots of love,